I wish I could speak these words to you directly, but they exist only in my mind, as both a prayer and a penance. I hope that God will hear them. Believe me when I tell you how it ages me to bear such a burden, ordering to death the only other woman who knows what it means to rule as a queen in this land.

You were right when we spoke a half lifetime ago. You said the day would come. And that day has come. I regret not doing then what I do now, so that I could have spared you so many years of imprisonment and misery. If you would lay eyes upon me now, you would not recognize me. I have relinquished all sense of self to the throne which rules my every word and action. But when I think of you, I see not an aged woman, but rather the young, resplendent queen whose portrait I first gazed upon five and twenty years ago, and whose beauty shone so brightly when we met, despite her despair. I know God’s arms will accept you in that likeness, as the young, fierce queen who I have always loved and admired. May your soul have pity on mine.

 

Carta de Elizabeth para Mary, em Mary, Queen of Scots, 2019